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Papers
- Study: Knowledge about Partner Is Key in Relationships (Time.com)
"If you ever turn to a therapist for advice on relationship skills, he or she is bound to tell you that communication is key. But a recent study shows that in fact, other more practical skills are predictors of overall satisfaction. 05-11
- A Guide to Gaining and Keeping a Good Marriage (Time.com)
"The effort to make it work and the problems we have and those we’ve worked through have led me to a few thoughts on what you can do to make your relationship a little more weather-proof. In order to make a couple survive, you must put it ahead of self. Love or destiny or fate simply won’t carry you. If a relationship is a nation, then it’s patriotic to do selfless things that will help the relationship...." 12-11
- An Arranged Marriage (Slate.com)
"When I tell people here in America that I have an arranged marriage, they react in one of two ways. Some love my story because it appears to confirm their belief that America is doing it wrong: 'Kids nowadays—having sex in middle school! All the single moms! The institution of marriage is dying! Your culture is just so beautiful.' " 08-17
- Bringing Up Your Own "Skeletons" (MSN.Match.com)
"Here’s how to get the weight off your chest and in the process, take your relationship to a whole new level." 12-06
- Dating a "Control Freak" (MSN Match)
"So you’re not going to get your love to not crave and need control. But you can talk to her about the specific aspects of her inflexibility that make things tough for you. You mention the problem with making plans, so let’s take that as an example."
Awesome Library does not endorse this advice, but provides it as an example. 11-05
- Does Your Date Drink Too Much? (MSN.Match.com)
"If you’re dating someone with a drinking or other substance abuse problem, you don’t have to go it alone. Seek counsel from Al-Anon or your faith community. You will learn strategies for dealing effectively with your situation." 12-06
- Getting It Right the Second Time Around (Time.com)
"And if you’ve suffered a breakup and hope to do better next time, it’s worth considering these tips. Sure, you can say you’ll pick a better partner, but the research shows that your best shot at happiness is to make yourself a better partner." 01-13
- Good Signs...and Not So Good (MSN Match)
Provides "some telltale tip-offs you two are headed for happily-ever-after—plus, five clear-cut clues that spell bad news." 11-05
- How to Know If She's Attracted (eHow.com)
"In dating and relationships, it may be difficult to tell if the opposite sex is attracted. That's especially true when, according to effective-communicating.com, up to 70 percent of the signs of attraction are non-verbal. Women have a special way of letting a man know that they are interested, but he must to pay close attention or he might miss her signs." 01-11
- How to Spot a Liar (MSN Match)
"A little snap judgment goes a long way toward making friends: According to a new study from the University of California, Berkeley, all it takes is 20 seconds to decide whether or not a stranger is trustworthy."
"After researchers took DNA samples of the study participants, it turned out that 60 percent of the least-trusted participants lacked a gene receptor, GG genotype, that may control your compassion and empathy. The receptor helps regulate your body’s level of oxytocin, which past studies have linked to feelings of trust, empathy, and generosity, explains Alexsandr Kogan, Ph.D., a post-doctoral fellow at the University of Toronto and the study’s lead author." 12-11
- Lying Is Hard to Detect (MSN.Match.com)
" 'Lying is difficult to detect,' she [Martha Stout, author of the best-selling The Sociopath Next Door,] says, 'so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.' Get away from the liar in question, and get on with your life without berating yourself." 12-06
- Questions that May Increase Intimacy (Bakadesuyo.com)
"The questions are part of an hour-long 'sharing game' in which each member of a pair reads a question out loud and then they both answer it before moving on to the next question." 06-14
- Questions to Ask Before Marrying (New York Times)
"Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying." 12-06
- Scientific Rules for the Game of Love (MSNBC News)
" 'Good parenting, devotion, and sexual fidelity — that's what people say they're looking for in a long-term relationship,' Emlen says." 02-06
- Secrets of a "Longest Time Married" Couple (Time.com)
" 'It’s very simple. It’s give and take and compromise,' Wilbur told KVVU. 'Every day ask her how she feels and "Is there anything I can do for you?"? And say, ‘Honey, I still love you.’?"
"He also suggests not to 'overdo' anything such a drinking or smoking, to always apologize first and to remember birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day." 02-12
- Signs She's Into You (MSN.Match.com)
"Problem is, it can be hard to tell sometimes whether a woman is truly interested or just going through the motions. But luckily, there are plenty of ways to tell the difference." 12-06
- Study: Long-Distance Relationships Can Be Good (Time.com)
"Don’t feel so bad for couples who live apart. Absence, according to the latest research, does make the heart grow fonder — as long as there’s video-chat, IMing, telephones or texting."
"About 3 million spouses in the U.S. live far each away from each other, even though they’d prefer to live together, and the new study, published in the Journal of Communication, found that the separation did not have such a negative effect on their relationships." 08-17
- Study: Long-Distance Relationships Can Be Good (Time.com)
"Don’t feel so bad for couples who live apart. Absence, according to the latest research, does make the heart grow fonder — as long as there’s video-chat, IMing, telephones or texting."
"About 3 million spouses in the U.S. live far each away from each other, even though they’d prefer to live together, and the new study, published in the Journal of Communication, found that the separation did not have such a negative effect on their relationships." 08-17
- Study: The Keys to a Happy Relationship (Time.com)
"If couples were paying any attention during the last few decades, they should be able to recite the one critical ingredient for a healthy relationship — communication. But the latest study shows that other skills may be almost as important for keeping couples happy."
"Not surprisingly, those who reported communicating more effectively showed the highest satisfaction with their relationships. But the next two factors — which were also the only other ones with strong links to couple happiness—were knowledge of partner (which included everything from knowing their pizza topping preferences to their hopes and dreams) and life skills (being able to hold a job, manage money, etc)." 08-17
- Study: Beauty and the Brain (CBS News)
"Men process beauty on the right side of their brains, while women use their whole brain to do the job, researchers report in Tuesday's electronic edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Science."
"They even explain it differently." 02-09
- Study: Men More Clueless Than Women (MSNBC News)
"Rather than seeing the world through sex-colored glasses, men seemed just to have blurry vision of sorts, overall. For instance, the college guys sometimes mistook sexual advances as pal-like gestures." 08-08
- Study: Men See Women in Provocative Clothes as Objects (CNN News)
"It may seem obvious that men perceive women in sexy bathing suits as objects, but now there's science to back it up." 02-09
- Study: What 20 Years Together Can Look Like (Time.com)
"Contrary to popular opinion, people who say they are still madly in love with their spouses after more than two decades are not crazy. At least, some of them aren’t. And in answer to your next question, apparently they’re not lying either."
- The Biology of Dating (Time.com)
"Ah, the eternal question: why is HE with HER? Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher thinks she has found the answer after studying the academic literature on personality and after poring over 40,000 responses to a questionnaire on an online dating site. A Rutgers professor and paid advisor for Chemistry.com, Fisher not only believes in romantic chemistry, but is zeroing in on specific chemicals." 01-09
- Voice Pitch and Cheating (Time.com)
"We here at Healthland are not trying to cast aspersions on your partner, but if he's got a really low voice or hers is particularly high-pitched, you might intuitively suspect they're more likely to cheat on you. And you may be right." 04-11
- What Is Beauty? (MSNBC News)
"Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but other people’s opinions also matter when it comes to the attraction between men and women, according to researchers." 01-07
- What Makes Two People "Click?" (Time.com)
"The content of a conversation is less important than how personal and emotional it is."
- What Really Attracts Women (Time.com)
"The concept of ranking a guy by a number may sound petty, but a 10 on Lulu is the whole package, because frankly, apart from casual hookups, that’s how women pick their suitors."
- Which Couples Survive and Why? (USA Today)
"That first year of marriage is often called the 'honeymoon period.' But for today's newly marrieds, just how long that newlywed glow lasts may well depend on how much real life gets in the way and how the partners respond to the stresses that surround them." 03-12
- Why Education Matters in Dating (Time.com)
"Decades of research suggest that the old adage about birds of a feather is true — especially when it comes to education. People tend to marry people who have achieved similar levels of schooling. But the question is why? A new study of movie-star marriages — of all things — tries to bring some clarity to why this self-sorting occurs." 04-11
- Why People Tell Lies (U.S. News)
"Studies have shown that people can identify lies only about 50 percent of the time, or about the same as chance. To be sure, researchers have been able to figure out some clues to uncovering deception. When people tell a significant lie, for instance, they typically gesture less and their arms may appear stiff. People telling lies also might have dilated pupils because they feel nervous about spinning an untruth." 05-09
- Why the Opposite Sex Drives You Crazy (CNN News)
"While the differences between the sexes drive some couples to distraction, being aware of them enhances relationships, as Christensen and Valle can attest. Is there hope for the rest of us? Researchers have found that science can be used to explain a lot of behavior that widens the gender gap, and in so doing may help couples understand each other better." 05-08
- Word Association Games to Predict Breakups (Time.com)
"The researchers found that, as they'd hypothesized, respondents who were better at the negative tasks were more likely to be broken up months later, while those who associated their partners with positive words were more likely to still be together. The findings suggest that well before people are aware of the deterioration of their relationship, negative perceptions may already have seeped into their subconscious." 07-10
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